Dec 5
This Paragraph Highly Approves
When I want to feel bad about myself, I read Katie Baker's monthly column Wedded Blitz, a "highly scientific sabermetric analysis" of the New York Times' wedding section. Reading about the nuptuals of 12th generation Harvard grads, brides with dual-PhDs in neuromedicine and astrobiology, and famous-parent-trust-fund babies does wonders for one's self-esteem.
I know it sounds fantastic, and it usually is, but this week, Katie Baker has simply outdone herself with the following paragraph:
The extraneous information conveyed in another announcement, on the other hand, left me clapping maniacally in joy. "The bridegroom's mother, a certified public accountant, is the controller of the United Trust Fund, a real estate investment firm. She also owns Gift Chixx, a shop." SHE ALSO OWNS GIFT CHIXX, A SHOP. There is no comparison to this sentence and there never will be. This sentence is the one that everyone hopes will be their Secret Santa in book club. This sentence owns a mug with the face of its favorite dog breed (Westie) painted on it at one of those make-your-own-pottery places, which happens to be conveniently located next to this sentence. This sentence is on a diet but the calories don't count if it eats a bite of cheesecake off someone else's plate. I want this sentence to come to Kleinfeld's with me when I star in an episode of Say Yes to the Dress someday. I feel like this sentence would be supportive but also speak its mind.
This paragraph wishes it had written itself.
Wedded Blitz: The Month in the New York Times Wedding Section
Filed under //
amusing
